Times Like These

You think you’ve come to terms with your lot in life. Turns out, you haven’t.

I cannot possible be a well-adjusted adult if I go through the roof every time I see photos of my contemporaries making a life abroad. This is the main reason why I often want to nuke my Facebook account for good

It’s not that I do not wish them well, because I do. I know the risks they take when they opt to make a living abroad. No, it’s because they are there and I am here.

I feel like a failure because I often equate success with life in Australia, the UK and Switzerland. Who would not want to work in these countries? To be able to give your family everything they need – and everything they want?

Take for example, a car. My mom and I are just dying to buy our own car. But no matter how I much I scrimp and save, I always come up short. And all I can do is wait. Wait and see. Wait and save. Just wait.

At this point, my mom would tactfully segue into the possibility of me going abroad. After all, three years working in the field of communications does not invalidate the fact that I have a degree in nursing.

And here lies the rub. Either give up everything I have learned so far in my current field of work and start all over again, or simply suck it up as an adult should and carry on. Go about getting my own car and my own land the old fashion way – work hard, save harder.

I try not to dwell on it too much. Still, it’s hard to shake off that patina of doubt. Is there a company out there who needs someone with a skillset like mine? Why not me? Did I make a mistake when I decided not to pursue a career in nursing?

I want to make it abroad. So much so that it hurts to think about it.

But I’d like to think that maybe this time, if I wish and pray really hard, I can make it, by my own terms and in God’s own time. There must be someone out there who needs a nurse who can write a pretty decent business letter.


6 thoughts on “Times Like These

  1. I feel for you on this one, Jaz. I was all wailing & whining a few years back. Maybe, one shouldn’t measure personal success to other people’s successful endeavors. Maybe, there’s no generic definition of success; it has to be personal. Maybe others are lucky and have the resources that led them to where they are; and maybe we can find another route to get where we want to go. All different stories, and everyone has got one to tell. Those words mean something: “I can make it, by my own words and in God’s own time.” I believe you can…in God’s perfect time. All the best, Jaz!

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